I don't know what it is, but being in my twenties is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I mean, I am literally obsessed with it! Every time I see a quote about being in your twenties, I get even more excited because it assures me that there is someone else out there who has the same ideas as me-being in your twenties is a crucial time! A time for growth, a time for exploration, a time to be unapologetically free, a time to be curious, a time to hustle! Sometimes your teens can be full of mistakes, carelessness, and regrets; but your twenties, those are to be full of daring behavior, endless possibilities, and pure life changing endeavors. Your twenties are meant to set the stage for the rest of your life, if you do it right! Here are 19 tops that I believe can help to do it the right way and make the next 10 years some of the best!
- Avoid increasing your already high DEBT!- You're either in college, graduating from college, or thinking about going back to college- which means you could be acquiring some debt. Be smart with all your money choices. Don't go opening credit cards, buying these you can't afford, or getting scammed. Save, make payments on time, invest in yourself; you'll thank yourself later.
- Be single, for real single!- When I say " for real single", I mean that you are not texting, getting to know, or entertaining anyone for an extended period of time. Enjoy some YOU time! Get to know yourself- your strengths, weaknesses, turn-on's, turn-offs, capabilities, any and everything! You can't truly know who you are if you're always busy worrying about getting to know someone else. You can't truly love someone else, if you don't truly love yourself. You can't truly invest in your if you are always investing in them. I look at it like this, if a guy ask me on a date and wants me to tell him about myself, I want to be able to tell him genuine things; things that I have learned about me, things that I have experienced, things that I can bring to a relationship.
- Date a little, date a lot, don't date at all.- This one must come after you enjoy some time being single, or else it won't be any fun! If you don't take the time to know yourself, you will spend a lot of time in and out of relationships that you could have avoided. This tip is meant to be fun, not to be loose! Don't go out there sharing all your goodies and goodness with everyone, but don't completely ignore potential good mates. . If you feel that you have the time to invest in a few people, do it, but don't get crazy! Live a little, but with dignity.
- Live alone.- I have not done this yet, but I look forward to when I can. This means no parents, no roommate, no boyfriend/girlfriend- just YOU! This idea might frighten some people, because not everyone knows how to be alone, but everyone needs to learn. You can't run away from yourself by running into someone else. You need to know how you operate individually, before you consider becoming a unit with someone else. I'm a very strong advocate of YOU time!
- In all that you do, give it your ALL.- This is a time where your energy, resources, and drive should be at it's highest. Your mind is racing with all the things you want to do, all the places you want to see, all the possibilities waiting on you in the open world; go for it, but be wise about it! Time is precious, you won't be in your twenties forever and you don't want to go into your thirties with the same goals as your twenties (as your age changes, so should your focus and goals). Choose what you want to do, even if that means it has to change a few times, and give it your ALL! There may be sleepless nights, empty bank accounts, and dead ends, but if you really want it, you need to be willing to work for it and invest in your dreams. I believe people can do whatever they put their minds to, but you need to understand, big dreams require even bigger work ethic.
- Be willing to make sacrifices.- Give up that money; give up that time with your family, friends, or significant other; give up that extra 30 mins of sleep and get to work! Grind now, relax later. I have always heard, if you want something, you are going to have to work and make sacrifices. Not everything will be handed to you.There will never be enough hours in the day to get everything we need done completed, but if you use the time you have wisely, you wont need an increase on those hours.
- Explore the unknowns, even if that means you are going alone!- I am probably the last person that is willing to try new things, especially food, but I am also probably the first person to tell you that I live with regrets of not trying new things and I hate that! You have to be willing to go places you wouldn't normally go, do things that are out of your comfort zone, and explore places that catch your eye- and do all of these things by yourself! It is always fun to have someone that will tag along with you on your adventures, but what if that person is not available? Does that mean the adventure doesn't happen? NO! Your life doesn't stop because your're doing it alone. Sometimes my biggest fear is that something bad is going to happen when I try new things or that it wont turn out how I wanted it to, but I have to constantly remind myself that anywhere God sends me, is where I am supposed to be. Pray about it, ask for His guidance; if He gives you the green light, GO!
- If you think about it twice, try it at least once!- You know that thing that you literally think about EVERYDAY? Whether it be a job position, a new career, a new hobby, whatever it is- try it! You never know! If it is meant for you, it will be yours, but how will you know if you never try! Although teaching is a passion of mine, there are other things that I want to try in this life. God doesn't give you all these talents and ideas for you to sit on them!
- Put in the work and the praise will come.- One of my biggest mistakes is doing things to please others and make them proud, when I myself wasn't even proud. Don't go looking for a pat on the back, just put in the work and the recognition will come. "Whatever you do, work it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters" (Colossians 3:23). Your hard work wont go unrecognized, God makes sure of that.
- Be selective with your time and energy.- You have probably seen that quote on a social media outlet that says, "We make time for the things we want to make time for." Most times I have seen it, it has pertained to relationships, posted by some girl that is being ignored by her boo, blah-blah-blah! While he's ignoring her though, she could be doing something to better herself and not wasting time on someone who isn't wasting time on her. Be selective with your time! I think that we don't truly understand how precious our time is; once it's gone, it's gone...then what? Learn to say "Because I don't want to", because sometimes you really don't want to and that's okay. The time you spend doing something you don't enjoy is now taken away from doing something you love.
- Become comfortable with being different.- As you come into your own, you may realize that you are not like other people; you don't think about social media and celeb gossip as much as your friends, you don't care to drink all day and party all night, you don't want to work that 9-5 at a job that brings you great money, but no joy and peace. That is OKAY! Be different, be you, be separate from the rest, and don't you dare apologize for it!
- Don't allow your past to hold you back.- Stop focusing on what you did wrong way back when, and start looking at where you are now and where you are going. If God wanted you to be focused on what you left behind you, He would have created us with two eyes in the back of our head! You are doing better than you think, trust me. I, like most others, am my biggest critic. I think it's because we know all the bad that we have done, or thought, or felt, so when we start to do good, think better, and feel alright, we draw back from it because we don't think we deserve it. Well you do deserve it, regardless of whatever has happened in your past, you deserve a brighter future. You are growing everyday and getting better than you realize. Your past is only to be used to see how far you've come, not to remind you of where you were. Yes, you will make mistakes, but as long as you know that those mistakes do not make you, it will all be just fine!
- Make serious decisions about your spiritual life.- If you haven't already, make a decision about who you are going to live for, then start living for them. My relationship with God and my choice to be a Christian is always in the back, sometimes front, of my mind when I make a lot of decisions- big and small. I honestly don't know where my life would be without that spiritual counseling and connection that I go to on a daily to get by. It makes a lot of decisions easier when I know that I have God right there with me or that little sign from Him telling me to go for it, or that scripture that comes just at the moment that I want to give it. If your spiritual life is not in some type of formation or order, don't be surprised if the rest of your life isn't either; they go hand-in-hand.
- Create your own definition of beauty.- The world loves to try to tell you what to think, how to act, and what to believe. Nah, I'll pass, especially when it comes to how I perceive myself. I can't tell you what beauty is, just like you can't tell me! If you have not already made up in your mind what you consider "beauty" and "sexy" to mean, you need to! I use to think that the more skin I showed, the sexier I was, but now I am learning that there is something even sexier about a mystery. You may think reading and knowing about politics is sexy, or being full figured is just as beautiful, if not more than having a "model-like" body, or that wearing no makeup is your definition of having a "beat" face; whatever it is, own it! Once you have decided what beauty is in your eyes, you will start to see it everywhere and in everything! And just like you have your definition of beauty that you expect to be respected, you need to do the same for others!
- Take the constructive criticism; listen to your elders.- You do not know everything! My mama loves to remind me of this any chance she gets and as much as I hate to hear it, it is the truth. I could never repay her for all the lessons she has provided me with, even those unknowingly done. Taking constructive criticism can be a struggle, but we get caught up on the criticism and ignore the most crucial part of it- the constructiveness! Swallow your pride and learn! Believe it or not, your dreams and aspirations were probably once somebody else's and if you are lucky enough to come in contact with that person, listen to them. You can learn so much from simply being still, taking in what is offered to you, and building upon the mistakes of others. Remember though, don't take criticism from just any ol' critic. Some people know nothing and will try to tell you something; check those credentials! It wil save you a wealth of time.
- Avoid teenage drama and mistakes.-You're in your twenties now, so act accordingly! Don't go getting piercings and tattoos because you want to feel young and spontaneous. Don't go sleeping with a man that you know you would never want to raise a family with. Don't go back to that high school "sweetheart" who dogged you out, because you think he "changed". Don't go fighting in the clubs or on social media. Puh-lease! You are too old for that, literally. Your twenties are about a forward motion into adulthood, not a back stroke into childish antics. Be conscious of your actions.
- Start healthy habits.- That means don't start drinking every weekend just because you're 21, don't start eating out more just because you have a better paying job, and don't start spending money on things you do not need just because you can. Realize that you will be of drinking age for the rest of your life once you hit 21, so there is no need to try to drink it all at once. I'm no drunk, but from the outside looking in, it doesn't look to fun. You may not be able to eat how you did in high school, so don't. When metabolism drops, weight doesn't. I am very lucky to have an extremely high metablism so my weight has probably only changed from 120 in high school to now 124 in my senior year of college, without ever dieting or exercising, but that doesn't mean I am healthy. So I plan to work on that. Know your body! You might have more responsibilities than in high school, so be smart. When the bill collectors start to call all the time, those name brand shoes in the closet won't answer and say you're not home. Don't go spend crazy. If you handle your money the proper way, it can start working for you instead of your working for it.
- Learn to keep your business to yourself.- With so many social media outlets available to us, it is so easy to run to them in a moment of vulnerability, loneliness, or need of attention. Do me a favor, buy a journal...immediately! Your life will run a lot more smoothly if you learn to keep certain aspects of it off of social media and to yourself. Take your problems to someone who can actually fix them- God! Last time I checked, Instagram and Twitter were not fixing any life crisis (if you know differently, please let me know). Hustle and grind in silence. You don't need to let everyone know what you're doing, where you're going, and how you're getting it because believe it or not, there are people out there that are hoping you will fail, praying on it too! Yes, that is said, but that is reality. People can't pray against your dreams if they don't even know what you're dreaming. I am a finished product type of person; all you will see is my finished product and it has worked alright for me!
- Stay true to who you are.- I believe you are as just vulnerable and susceptible to society as you were in your teens. There is always something out there that intrigues you, but remember who you are and who you want to be! Tunnel vision! Don't allow the outside world to bring you out of character. Say what you mean, act as you know to, and don't be swayed into unfavorable situations. Learn to trust yourself, your instincts, and the life lessons that you have earned.
Indulge in being in your twenties!
xo, BLT