It's that time of year when I begin to reflect on everything, everything.
How I spend my free time is one area that receives a lot of reflection, a lot.
This blogging thing is realer than I thought.
And I am not doing my best, at all.
Somedays I'm okay with that, but other days it bothers me that a hobby that I do enjoy is so hard for me to commit to.
I'm sitting down right now, typing this post and enjoying this moment. Fully.
So why is that I can't and don't do this more often?
I don't know.
But I want to do better.
Pep talks typically proceed my 'do better' moments, so here is one for me.
Trying to figure this out and get it out all at once, so bare with me.
Fear of failure.
If you ask someone what they are most afraid of, failure in any of it's many forms would be their answer.
The thought of not succeeding can be just as crippling as not succeeding, if not more.
The thought of putting my all into something and it not turning out well is scary, especially when it's something you care for deeply.
No one sets out to fail at something they enjoy, it just happens.
That's not a reason to give up on yourself or never try.
There are so many quotes, books, and talks about conquering your fears.
Honestly, I think that's always going to be a problem.
What matters is how big of a problem it is.
If fear is stopping you from even trying, then failure really is your only option.
Are you okay with failing at something you've never tried? Never wrote? Never posted?
Caring.
Right, who would have thought that caring about something could be a problem?
Right, who would have thought that caring about something could be a problem?
Or maybe trying not to care is the real issue.
Everybody is looking for approval from somebody (feel free to disagree, but you’re lying).
When you don’t get that approval it hurts in a way.
When you don’t get that approval it hurts in a way.
It makes you not want to post, or share, or create.
Yeah, well fuck them.
Do it anyway.
Because, ‘what if’?
Because what if one day that one person that you wanted to notice you doesn’t, but the person you needed to does. Because, what if you are literally one post or picture or video from helping someone in a major way.
Because what if you explode from not sharing all that goodness inside of you.
It can happen.
It’s okay to be an artist that is sensitive about your shit, but share your shit anyway.
The shut down is the worst.
Consistency is key when it comes to everything, especially growing an audience.
People will gravitate toward what is constantly feeding them.
I understand that.
But, seeee….sometimes I just don’t feel like it.
I do believe there is a such things as being too connected and oversharing.
Sometimes I don’t want to share what I’m doing, wearing, or thinking.
Sometimes I don’t know what to share.
Sometimes I want to be fed, and not doing the feeding.
Or maybe learn how to do both, simultaneously.
Take the things that feed you, and feed others.
So, you may stop caring...but then you start comparing.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
At this moment there are probably 1,356,446,421,987 content creators in the world.
It’s a blessing and curse, if you allow it to be.
The blessing is what you can learn from so many people sharing their individual talents through music, photography, writing, styling, beauty and hair, fitness, videography, I mean the list can go on and on.
I’ve learned so much from the internet and for no monetary exchange.
The curse is how you can begin to look at yourself.
You unintentionally begin to compare yourself to other creators in your content area.
What they have that you don’t.
What they know how to do that you can’t.
What they’re doing that you were too lazy or afraid to try.
It’s only so many “what’s meant for me, will be for me” conversations you can have with yourself to reclaim that joy they unknowing stole.
It’s only so many “what’s meant for me, will be for me” conversations you can have with yourself to reclaim that joy they unknowing stole.
Why not let them inspire you instead of impede you.
Their shine does not dim your light, their hustle should not stop yours.
Compare to see growth in yourself, not to attack yourself.
And if you can’t look at the lives of others as inspiration for you own, stop looking. Your joy is more important.
Alright, we've moved past caring, comparing, and even started sharing.
We are making progress!
We've reached a good problem to have.
So many ideas, so little time.
I have more ideas than time to bring them all to fruition, especially because I want it to look exactly how I imagine.
I’m big on the whole “quality over quantity” philosophy.
I’ve seen what it looks like when people stop caring about what they create and share, and begin to just put out anything. I don’t want to be that person.
But I also don’t like being the person that has something to share, but doesn’t put out anything at all.
I don’t want to be that person anymore.
Both suck.
My time management has to be better.
Just that simple.
Create what you need to be better.
I know what I need to do to be better. I’ve known for quite some time.
Typically I convince myself that the ‘right moment’ will come and I’ll magically change.
I’ll stop being lazy, I’ll stop making excuses, I’ll stop procrastinating, and everything will be different.
Except that moment doesn’t just happen.
It has to be created.
You have to make a conscious decision everyday to create, to perfect your craft, to invest your time and energy, to grow, and to be proud of your growth.
Stop waiting and start creating.
You’ll thank yourself later.
peace and happy creating, beautiful people!
xo,
BLT