I figure that there is a reason for everything in life. It's a lesson or a blessin', but either way it's important. Our everyday struggles have a purpose and if we understand that purpose, I think we can over come it. Here are the common struggles that the twenty-somethings that I know, including myself, are going through and how I plan to overcome them.
DISCLAIMER
Don't expect these struggles to go away over night. Conscience and intentional effort to make them dimish is required.
|Horny? So!|
Sex is NOT everything!
Sex is NOT everything!
Stop focusing on your little woman or man downstairs having fun. They should have had all the fun in your teens/college years, because now they need to chill. Sex is a distraction. Don't waste your time putting your health, wealth, and peace of mind in danger for a night or two of quick fun. Just relax horn-toad. Early twenties is not about getting around as much as possible before settling down and who ever is pushing that idea into your head is a LIAR! Avoid getting wrapped up in situation-ships that will cause just as much stress as the real thing, except without the security to even feel like those emotions are valid because techinically "he ain't your man anyway". See how confusing that sentence was? That's what you're dealing with. Put your parts away and read a book or something. And stop acting like you can't resist. You're doing the most.
|Broke? That's ok!|
Your bank account does not define you, but your credit score does.
You don't need to have the largest income, you probably don't, and that is okay. Save as much as you can, and splurge when you deserve it (and no you don't always deserve it). Understand how to manage the money you have. "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much." Build your credit; get a credit card, DON'T max it out or go crazy with it, and pay it off on time. You know the saying "don't put all your eggs in one basket", same goes for your money. Spread your wealth, but be careful. Develop responsible habits with your money now when you have a little, so that you can learn from them later when you have more.
You don't need to have the largest income, you probably don't, and that is okay. Save as much as you can, and splurge when you deserve it (and no you don't always deserve it). Understand how to manage the money you have. "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much." Build your credit; get a credit card, DON'T max it out or go crazy with it, and pay it off on time. You know the saying "don't put all your eggs in one basket", same goes for your money. Spread your wealth, but be careful. Develop responsible habits with your money now when you have a little, so that you can learn from them later when you have more.
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|Bored? No hobbies? Get one!|
Develop a hustle for something besides your job
|Bored? No hobbies? Get one!|
Develop a hustle for something besides your job
Don't let the stability and newness of that first job/paycheck/salary make you lazy. There is more out there to work toward than money. Find a passion or hobby outside of work and HUSTLE to make it something worth while. Whether it's hair, make-up, making videos, fitness, cooking, singing, dancing, blogging- SOMETHING! 9-5's are for the basic. You need a 5-9, too! Never know if that hobby could turn into a career. Ask your favorite Instagram star.
|Netflix and Chill? Yea, by your damn self.|
Alone time is golden.
I can't stress enough how important it is to spend some genuine time with yourself. Be alone. Get comfortable with yourself, your thoughts, opinions, beliefs, and goals. If you don't like being alone, I would talk to a professional about it. There may be deeper issues than what you think if you can't get comfortable around yourself. Seriously. Separate yourself from humanity. Hear only yourself talk every once in a while. And respond if need be. That doesn't make you crazy.
Alone time is golden.
I can't stress enough how important it is to spend some genuine time with yourself. Be alone. Get comfortable with yourself, your thoughts, opinions, beliefs, and goals. If you don't like being alone, I would talk to a professional about it. There may be deeper issues than what you think if you can't get comfortable around yourself. Seriously. Separate yourself from humanity. Hear only yourself talk every once in a while. And respond if need be. That doesn't make you crazy.
|Need money? Take "the job"|
It may not be your dream career, but it's a job.
First things first, swallow your pride cause it's getting in the way of your money. It may not be "the job" that you were looking for, but's it's a job. For now it's income and hopefully a foot in the door to your career so take it and do well at it. Not many people get there dream job right out of college. Not many people even get a job in their field fresh out of college, so don't stress it. Only people that do are teachers and we are all hanging on by a thread anyway. Take "the job" while you look for a career. Take "the job" while you go back to school for another degree/certification. Take "the job" so you are not homeless, broke, and hungry. But whatever you do, don't get stuck in "the job".
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| If this picture means nothing to you, then you need to go watch Insecure on HBO and get it together. Thanks. |
|Got friends? Okay, but do they got goals?|
Match your tribe with your vibe.
For one, make sure you are surrounding yourself with like-minded people. That's step one and the most vital, for all ages and points in your life. You have to be around people that want the best for you and are willing to genuinely help you get there. Step 2 is to remember that those people are trying to grow as well. Be patient with them. Be an asset to their lives, as they should be to yours. And if someone is not living up to the expectations you have set for the people in your life, don't be afraid to let them go.
Match your tribe with your vibe.
For one, make sure you are surrounding yourself with like-minded people. That's step one and the most vital, for all ages and points in your life. You have to be around people that want the best for you and are willing to genuinely help you get there. Step 2 is to remember that those people are trying to grow as well. Be patient with them. Be an asset to their lives, as they should be to yours. And if someone is not living up to the expectations you have set for the people in your life, don't be afraid to let them go.
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| Again, watch the show. |
|Comparing yourself to others? Stop it.|
Do what makes YOU happy
Do what makes YOU happy
Finances, relationships, businesses, life. If you are trying to do what you see others doing, stemming from a need to feel accepted- you are failing at adulthood and life in general. Do what works for you and what feels right to you. If you need to stay at home for a while to save money, do it. If you don't want to be in that relationship, don't be. If you want to start a business, set yourself up to succeed! In all things you do, do so with passion and good intention and because you want to. Doing to impress others will keep you empty in all areas of your life. Be selfish right now. This is your life.
Twenties can really be sucky sometimes, but you have to go through them to get to the rest of your life so why not at least try to make them worth it. Everyone keeps telling me that this time is precious and should be spent living; being free, and bold, and brave, and I want to do that. I will do that. You should too.
Peace and productivity, beautiful people!
Peace and productivity, beautiful people!
xo,
BLT