So today I had a chance to practice 'extending more love' and I kinda failed. I was able to do it, even during interactions that I did not want to be apart of. I was feeling good. Then came an interaction that I wasn't looking forward to, somewhat knew that it was coming, and one that I had troubles with previously. Well...I skipped from love to attack once I felt attacked, and the love was out the door. I do feel bad and strongly convicted for my actions, but more importantly I feel determined to do better. You know, when you know better you do better. I know better.
As for today's #BacktotheBasics, I am going to have to rewind to this past Sunday.
I did not attend church. Again. Lately I haven't been in the mood to go to church. Wasn't the first time I felt this 'mood', but usually I ignore it and go anyway. Once I was in the atmosphere and opened my spirit to receive the Lord, I was fine. However, these last couple of weeks weren't like that. I still went, I listened to the message, I applied it to my life best I could, and I got on through. Still, my spirit wasn't being fed.
I did not attend church. Again. Lately I haven't been in the mood to go to church. Wasn't the first time I felt this 'mood', but usually I ignore it and go anyway. Once I was in the atmosphere and opened my spirit to receive the Lord, I was fine. However, these last couple of weeks weren't like that. I still went, I listened to the message, I applied it to my life best I could, and I got on through. Still, my spirit wasn't being fed.
Through prayer and a little talk with the Lord, I realized that my disconnect was on my part. I was expecting too much from one place. I had become a 'Sunday's Only' worshiper, thinking that all of my prayers, questions, and concerns could be handled with one sermon, once a week. Wrong. wrong. wrong! You can't rely on a messenger, you have to go straight to the source. I needed to carve out more personal time. Attend my own personal sermons, with just God and I.
My latest personal sermon led me to Deuteronomy 25-28. Mistake one of my sermon was that I bit off more than I could chew. That many chapters at once, although fluid, is hard to get a lot of information from. God can say so much in so little words; imagine what 3-4 chapters worth of words can say to you. This is where a little discernment comes in. Use your better judgement and the guidance of the Lord to get you where you need to be. God never fails.
In my Bible are the 9 Fruits of the Spirit on various colored pages. You can only guess which fruit I ended up on; love. Being that I was on a love kick lately, I knew I was drawing close to where I needed to be. And whoop, there it was! On the next page was Deuteronomy 28:1
"If you fully obey the Lord your God and carefully follow all his commands I give you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations on earth."
Okay...I can dig it. First I need to extend love. Lots and lots and lots and lots of love. Now, the beginning of chapter 28 is telling my how I need to also be obedient. We can't just love people without following God's commandments. The inclusion of love is required in actually following the commandments, so they go hand in hand. The next 14 verses reminded me of all the good that comes of following God's commandments. Read them here.
While you bask in the beauty of the blessings that come from your obedience, verse 15 quickly reminded of the opposite- curses for disobedience. And as good as the blessings were, the curses are much worse. I was a little afraid. I wanted the blessings, not the curses. I wanted to be the head, not the tail. I wanted to be blessed in the city and the country. I wanted the fruits of my womb to be blessed, the people I interact with to be blessed. We all do!
Obedience is not meant to be a struggle. It's doing what's asked of you, as much as possible, no matter what. It's putting faith in the direction that you are being led, regardless of how well you may think you know the path. It's doing what you know is right, despite how easy wrongdoing can be. It's doing what you're told, with no 'buts', 'what if's', or 'maybe's'. Obedience is trust.
Thinking back on my earlier failure at extending love, if I would have opted to be obedient instead of being , maybe my interaction would have gone a completely different way. Obedience means giving up your way, for the best way, out of love and possibly fear. Extend your love and obey the Lord, even when you don't want to. Message received.
Peace and obedience, beautiful people!
xo,
BLT
1 John 5:3
"For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome."